Lamb Burgers aka. EPIC FAIL

Every cook, chef, or baker has, at some point, had things not go right. Whether it's a burned cake or a messed up recipe, a little mistake or an epic disaster, we all have those stories. In the interests of full disclosure, here's mine from Sunday. May it comfort you when things don't go well and encourage you to get back up and try again.

So, I saw a recipe in the Trib for "Lamb Burgers with a Greek Twist" and decided I wanted to make these for Sunday dinner. I've provided you the link but, if you make them, I'm not responsible for the sorrow you shall undergo.

In an effort to avoid future peril, let's review what went wrong:
1. I got a recipe from the Trib. This was a mistake.
2. If it has curry powder in it, then it does NOT equal Greek food. I don't care how much yogurt sauce you put on it, it still isn't Greek. This is like trying to equate palak paneer to spanakopita. It's not gonna happen.
3. Pay attention to expiration dates.
4. Trust my gut. I had a bad feeling about this and, since I'm not Han Solo, I should have listened to myself.

All that aside, I did, for your amusement, take a few pictures of this massive mess. Enjoy!

These are the burgers. I actually deviated from the recipe slightly and used a beef and lamb mixture. I had to do this because the place I stopped to purchase ground lamb at (Kuhn's on McKnight) only had lamb patties. So, I used a mix of about 2 parts lamb to 1 part ground beef. I have no idea what Kuhn's mixed into the lamb patties but the burgers puffed up while grilling and, when cutting into them, gushed a fluid I can only pray was olive oil. The finished product was vomitous tasting. Think crappy tasting sausage. I wanted to cut my tongue out and grow a new one.














I love Trader Joes. I've had few problems there in the years I've patronized them. Wouldn't you know that a yogurt container I purchased on Friday the 15th had an expiration date of the 10th? I opened this up on Sunday and discovered disgusting green mold therein. Maybe it was a message from God to stop right then.














I thought to myself that fries would be great with the burgers...and they would have been. Unfortunately, the recipe I use for oven fries includes sugar to crisp up the fries. It works great but they stick to the pan if you don't spray Pam. Guess who forgot to do that? These may look like garbage but I tried a few and they're the only thing that turned out decently from this mess.














The finished product. I forgot to turn on the flash but this is what dinner ended up being, Mineo's pizza (white pizza with chicken and artichoke). That's the moral of the story. Experiment in the kitchen because, if it sucks, you can always order pizza. As the flash was off, my lovely new plates I purchased in Grove City on Sunday look dreary.














I laugh about this now but I was truly frustrated at the time. Luckily, I made some delicious chocolate chip cookies that night and life can never be all bad with a soft and chewy homemade cookie. So, I ate pizza and cookies and watched Iron Chef America, and life went on.

This weekend will be a flurry of cooking, including Skyline-esque chili for a birthday party/BBQ, cupcakes for the same party, Sunday night dinner featuring zucchini, and then Memorial Day grilling featuring burgers with apple and gruyere. Stay tuned.

L'Chaim!

Who you calling a tart?

You, Mr. Strawberry White Chocolate...

This past weekend, Joanna and I were up in Erie at her parents' place for her father and sister's birthdays. Joanna has a tradition of making a special dessert for the birthdays of all her friends and family. This year, her father requested a strawberry tart which, while Joanna is a pro at these, I've never made. Let me say, this thing was so delicious that Hellen Keller would scream "Hot Damn!" with one bite. Just sayin...

This was made in her parents' kitchen, which has that awesome country kitchen feel to it. As we didn't have our usual tools like stand mixers, we had to improvise a bit. Still, we are nothing if not stubborn and set to the task with single minded determinedness.

The first step to any recipe is of course prep work. In this case that meant cutting strawberries. Lots and lots of strawberries.















Scads of them. At this point, I could have stopped, grabbed a fork, and been a happy camper.














While I cut strawberries, Joanna was creaming butter and powdered sugar for the crust. It's almost a shortbread type crust that we were going for...














Devoid of either of our beloved Kitchen-aid mixers and knowing this was too big a job for a hand mixer, it became incumbent upon her to just get in there with her hands and go for broke.














Here we see Joanna pressing the crust into her tart pan. I love her tart pan. She's totally got me beat on awesome baking supplies. She did however get me some super cool Wilton pans as a housewarming gift. It has nothing to do with this recipe but I felt like bragging.














Believe it or not, this is actually the finished, baked crust. For some reason, her parent's oven doesn't brown anything. It's still fully cooked though and was flaky and delicious.














Here I am mixing up the filling, combining the white chocolate and cream cheese. This would have sucked with just a whisk. What did people do before electricity? This hand mixer is probably older than I am and it keeps chugging away. They don't make stuff now like they used to.














The lovely Joanna spreading the filling in the crust. She may kill me for showing a picture of her. I dunno.














That's some major deliciousness we got going on here...














Now to begin layering the strawberries on. This reminded me of making the Pepperoni Extreme Pizza when I worked at Rascal House Pizza in college...














As you can see, being the OCD perfectionist I am, I only used the most aesthetically pleasing slices. The rest died while Joanna and I watched Food Network and waited for the glaze to set.














What glaze, you say? Why, this one. A simple sugar glaze with some lemon juice in it. If I may be a snob, let me suggest you always use fresh lemon juice. Citric acid in a lemon shaped bottle does NOT equal lemon juice. We had to improvise here with the spatula as a pastry brush was not to be found.














It is finished. So lovely and delicious. So rich and wonderful. So bursting with flavor. Next time we make one of these, I'm not sharing. It will just be me, a fork, and a soon to be empty tart pan. As a result, let me also add "sinful" to the list of adjectives to describe this delight, as it could drive a fella to gluttony.














L'chaim!

Holy crap I love sushi

If there is one thing I really really love it is sushi. I love all Asian food but I love sushi so much it borders on idolatry. I think back to how I never tried this delectable meeting of food and art prior to my teen years and weep for lost time. If you've never tried it, you haven't lived.

While I've tried my hand at making sushi in the past (and likely will again in the future), it is one of those things I tend to leave to the professionals. Here in Pittsburgh, we have a number of places to obtain these little bites of joy, from a stand in Wholey's in the Strip District (which isn't too bad actually), to the joke of pre-prepared yuck that some grocery stores have, to my current favorite place, Sushi Tomo in the North Hills.

If you haven't been to Sushi Tomo, then go. It's on McKnight Rd., three lights off the exit from 279. Tell them I sent you. It won't get you a discount and they'll have no idea who I am, but you'll feel like an insider and we all love a little ego boost, no matter how fleeting. Even if you don't like sushi, they have Japanese food so good that you might briefly consider that it wouldn't have been so bad if Emperor Hirohito would have prevailed in WWII. Here's a few pics of my recent visit to whet your appetite. The quality isn't the greatest as I took these on my phone (the camera battery was dead). There was another plate with a soft shell crab and the Dinosaur roll on it but it mysteriously disappeared before I could pick up my Blackberry to take the picture. I would have asked what happened but my mouth was full. What a strange coincidence...

This is an appetizer I don't even think is on the menu. My roommate Scott eats there enough to have sent Ricky's kids to college so we always get this. It is octopus, shredded seaweed, and julienned cucumber in a really light sauce (maybe rice vinegar?) and with toasted sesame. As I'm not a fan of chewing rubber, I generally eschew octopus but it is delicious in this dish...















This plate survived long enough to have a picture taken. At the top left we have the Pittsburgh Roll, which is smoked salmon, cream cheese, and avocado. This is about as non-Japanese as sushi comes but I'm a Jew. Stuff lox and cream cheese in something and I'm there. Does anyone else hear The Vapors playing? Next to that is my favorite roll, Unagi Maki, otherwise known as eel roll. It contains barbequed eel, avocado, some crazy good eel sauce, and toasted sesame seeds. Let me just say, I love eel. I realize it is incredibly fatty and not good for you at all. Regardless, it is fantastic. Give me a nice piece of eel on a bed of rice and I'll purr like a walrus. I know walruses can't purr. Neither can I. I do love Family Guy though. Last but not least is the Magic Roll. This roll is all that the name promises. It is a spicy tuna roll with avocado and tempura flake on top. Judging by this plate, I'd also say it's a safe bet to say I love avocado. Maybe I'll make you kids homemade guacamole sometime.















What we have here is Joanna's dinner. The beef teriyaki. I know that using chopsticks isn't easy for everyone. There have been times in my life where, with a downcast gaze, I've asked for a fork. That said, this dish makes you want to ask for a straw to slurp up every last bit of sauce. I'm not sure what the etiquette is with regards to such an action but one taste of this sauce and you'll agree with me that Miss Manners can take a one way trip to Gehenna.















I also suggest you try the Fuki Plum Wine with your meal. Your taste buds will thank you. Go forth and eat! L'Chaim!

X-Treme Chocolate Double-Nut Caramel Ladyfinger Torte

I figured I'd start out our postings on here with a few pictures of a delicious dessert that was featured on The Food Network Challenge: Southern Living Showdown. We made this a few weeks ago to accompany a dinner that Joanna made me of pork roast with a blueberry, red wine, and caper sauce, roasted red skin potatoes with rosemary, and steamed artichokes.

Here is the link to the recipe since I'm all about attribution: X-Treme Chocolate Double-Nut Caramel Ladyfinger Torte

Before we get to the pictures, let me just say that this dessert was amazing. By amazing I mean you want to roll around in it like a hog in slop. It has so much going on but the flavors all balance out perfectly. It is insanely rich though so don't plan on eating big pieces of it.

As an editorial note, it is ridiculously difficult to get soft ladyfingers in this town. Joanna and I went to Giant Eagle (several locations), Trader Joe's, Target, and Sam's Club before finally finding them at Shop N' Save of all places. Then, this past weekend, I decided to make a raspberry tiramisu and this time Shop N' Save didn't have them either. We even went down to Penn Mac in the Strip and, while they had 4 types of crunchy ladyfingers, no soft ones were to be found. The moral of the story is, don't make yourself crazy. Substitute in pound cake if you can't find soft ladyfingers and call it a day. Having done it in the raspberry tiramisu, I can tell you it works splendidly. Anyways, on to the pictures!!!


This is the first step in the cake, a layer of Nutella, the chocolate hazelnut spread of the gods...
















Add in a layer of caramel and pecans to increase the insanity...















It's still not crazy enough so let's add in homemade chocolate mousse...















My crazy tattooed arm is sprinkling shaved chocolate on top...















And here we have the finished creation, dusted with confectioners sugar as a finale...















A cross-section of the torte. The need for more photogenic plates has been discussed and heated negotiations are under way.















As always, L'Chaim!

Greetings and Salutations

These days, people tend to live to work, they don't work to live. We run around, work too long, eat food made in a test tube, strive for tons and tons of possessions, and miss out on those precious moments life has to offer. I look at it this way, once we have our basic needs met, the rest is ganache, sweet delicious icing on the cake. I'm all about the icing. This blog is dedicated to enjoying those little things in life like a delicious meal, listening to a symphony, seeing sights, and most importantly, doing it with those you love. I might have strong views on religion, politics, and just about any subject you can think of, right down to Quantum Mechanics, but you'll never hear that mentioned here. Here, we are all about food and fun.

As stated before, I'm not any sort of expert epicurean. I dream of one day owning a bakery but right now I'm just a foodie who likes what he likes and dreams about sharing his love for food with others. Generally, I'll be writing about things my girlfriend and I cook or bake and our culinary explorations. At times, I'll share some of our other travels and experiences. Joanna will also pipe in fairly regularly with her thoughts. Most people think of Pittsburgh and assume we're all Yeungling swilling, kielbasa eating fools. We are, but only if the Pens or Steelers are playing. The rest of the time, this city has a lot to offer and I aim to discover it all.

The Jews have a toast, "L'Chaim!", which means "To life!". This is the motto and mission we now undertake.