Lamb Burgers aka. EPIC FAIL

Every cook, chef, or baker has, at some point, had things not go right. Whether it's a burned cake or a messed up recipe, a little mistake or an epic disaster, we all have those stories. In the interests of full disclosure, here's mine from Sunday. May it comfort you when things don't go well and encourage you to get back up and try again.

So, I saw a recipe in the Trib for "Lamb Burgers with a Greek Twist" and decided I wanted to make these for Sunday dinner. I've provided you the link but, if you make them, I'm not responsible for the sorrow you shall undergo.

In an effort to avoid future peril, let's review what went wrong:
1. I got a recipe from the Trib. This was a mistake.
2. If it has curry powder in it, then it does NOT equal Greek food. I don't care how much yogurt sauce you put on it, it still isn't Greek. This is like trying to equate palak paneer to spanakopita. It's not gonna happen.
3. Pay attention to expiration dates.
4. Trust my gut. I had a bad feeling about this and, since I'm not Han Solo, I should have listened to myself.

All that aside, I did, for your amusement, take a few pictures of this massive mess. Enjoy!

These are the burgers. I actually deviated from the recipe slightly and used a beef and lamb mixture. I had to do this because the place I stopped to purchase ground lamb at (Kuhn's on McKnight) only had lamb patties. So, I used a mix of about 2 parts lamb to 1 part ground beef. I have no idea what Kuhn's mixed into the lamb patties but the burgers puffed up while grilling and, when cutting into them, gushed a fluid I can only pray was olive oil. The finished product was vomitous tasting. Think crappy tasting sausage. I wanted to cut my tongue out and grow a new one.














I love Trader Joes. I've had few problems there in the years I've patronized them. Wouldn't you know that a yogurt container I purchased on Friday the 15th had an expiration date of the 10th? I opened this up on Sunday and discovered disgusting green mold therein. Maybe it was a message from God to stop right then.














I thought to myself that fries would be great with the burgers...and they would have been. Unfortunately, the recipe I use for oven fries includes sugar to crisp up the fries. It works great but they stick to the pan if you don't spray Pam. Guess who forgot to do that? These may look like garbage but I tried a few and they're the only thing that turned out decently from this mess.














The finished product. I forgot to turn on the flash but this is what dinner ended up being, Mineo's pizza (white pizza with chicken and artichoke). That's the moral of the story. Experiment in the kitchen because, if it sucks, you can always order pizza. As the flash was off, my lovely new plates I purchased in Grove City on Sunday look dreary.














I laugh about this now but I was truly frustrated at the time. Luckily, I made some delicious chocolate chip cookies that night and life can never be all bad with a soft and chewy homemade cookie. So, I ate pizza and cookies and watched Iron Chef America, and life went on.

This weekend will be a flurry of cooking, including Skyline-esque chili for a birthday party/BBQ, cupcakes for the same party, Sunday night dinner featuring zucchini, and then Memorial Day grilling featuring burgers with apple and gruyere. Stay tuned.

L'Chaim!